Of Love, Fate, and the Unconscious...
and the Art of Attracting a Man
The truth is, even when a woman convinces herself that she's not thinking about love, or not trying to be attractive, she is, consciously or unconsciously, doing countless little things to catch attract men's attention, or to drive men away, or, quite often, both.
And because most women don't give themselves permission to really think about the specifics of how they communicate and relate to men, they wind up attracting men by default... men who dissatisfy them. Or, for that matter, they wind up losing the men they want the same way they met them... unconsciously, and by default.
Handling Love "Unconsciously"
Repeating Your Old Mistakes
Sometimes, doing things unconsciously doesn't mean that you're doing them in an inspired way, and according to what Fate wants... sometimes, it just means that you're doing them, well, unconsciously. That is, without awareness, without sensitivity, without curiosity; that, in fact, you're doing stuff, without a clue as to what you're doing... even, and especially, if you find yourself doing these things time and time again.
This practice women are taught, of not giving themselves permission to really understand the specifics of how they relate to men, is part of something larger: The Patience Model. The Patience Model is the idea that a woman has to wait for some man to choose her... and that it's wrong for a woman to secretly choose who she wants, and then subtly lead him into chasing eagerly after her.
"Waiting for Mr. Right" Often Means
Winding Up with Mr. Barely Adequate
The Patience Model tends to leave you with a very limited range of choices: basically, only those offered directly to you. That is, with the Patience Model, your only real shot is with men who, seeing you wait around and therefore pumped up with a temporary shot of I-guess-she-doesn't-have-any-other-options courage, decide to approach you. Typically, these men will be of approximately your level of attractiveness-- or often, much lower.
The Patience Model lines you up next to all the other women in the room, forcing you to compete against other women on the basis of who looks prettiest and most available. And you're competing for men who you might not really want to be chosen by.
Of course, if a woman is prepared to settle for whatever men luck brings her way, then the Patience Model is fine; but the more that a woman wants a truly high-quality man, one who can satisfy her for the long-term, the more that she'll need to bring awareness and intent and conscious choice to bear.
If You Want to Attract Men-- QUALITY Men--,
You Must Take Action.
The more choice you want, the more you need to give yourself permission to notice the world around you, and the more you must be willing to give yourself permission to take subtle but effective action.
Remember: A woman who keeps herself from really understanding men's energies, increases the odds of being seduced by her own loneliness into either relationships that are wrong for her, or into despair or even bitterness. Understanding men and what really attracts them, on the other hand, opens doorways that would remain otherwise hidden-- doorways into love, connection, and lasting emotional fulfillment.
What do most women not know, about how to keep a man interested? What do most articles and romance guides and talk show hosts never tell women?
The Truth About Men and Women...
and the Art of Attracting Men
The vital truth, when it comes to attracting men, seducing men, understanding men, and truly and deeply connecting with men, is that men and women really are different; the things that would attract and impress you usually hold little meaning for men. And, conversely, men can be excited and compelled and rendered passionate by things that, to most women, seem rather silly. Yet, by understanding and utilizing a man's hidden triggers, a woman can inspire a man to behave in ways that make her feel wonderful, spiritually, sexually, and emotionally... and, what's more, to love doing it, so that he hungers to please her over and over again.
At this point, you might think, Well, men and women may behave differently... but that's just social conditioning. In a state of nature-- if there weren't society and magazines and movies and social traditions-- men and women would be alike, and a man would finally understand what I'm feeling!
The underlying fact is this: Just as men's and women's bodies are different, men's and women's brains are different. Measurably, physically different. Some parts of the brain are proportionately bigger in women's brains than in men's; other parts are proportionately bigger in men's brains than women's. Men's and women's brains are doused with different neurochemicals, in different proportions, early in life; men's and women's brains even form and recall memories differently, each using different neurochemicals for this process.
Bluntly, men and women behave differently, and prioritize things differently, because they think differently; they think differently, because they perceive the world differently; and because they perceive the world differently, they live in different worlds.
Is this a tragedy? It can be, when you don't let yourself accept that a man naturally lives and breathes in a different atmosphere than you do. But if you do let yourself accept this, and then ask, How can I make this fun?, then you and he can be transported together into a third, hidden realm-- a realm hidden to the women he's known before--, and now an entirely new universe of emotional and erotic possibility can open up to you...
Of Particle and Wave...
and Understanding How to Attract a Man
It's helpful to think of men experiencing the world through particles, and women experiencing the world through waves.
What does that mean?